Bravo! I like the new(er) layout. Scapegoatee's little icon is adorable! What a good Goat he is! I can't get over an English-brain who has his "linky links" out of alphabetical order. You quack, Duck! Yer site's loverly!
So ...
A few (too many) thoughts on yer 'rental issue:
1. That was a wonderfully sweet letter yer parents wrote. Consider writing them a similar succinct letter to tell them you love them. And that they did a good job raising you. 'Cause they did, ya know.
2. Remember they're yer 'rents. You don't own 'em so you can't change 'em. You can rant till you've got laryngitis and rail against them till yer weary but only they can change themselves. HOWEVER, as you astutely noted "It's time to respond with some queer edukaytin'."
3. PFLAG is good place to start the edumakaytin'. Please visit their website at www.pflag.org.
a. The 'Rental Edukaytin: You may want to purchase some of their literature (especially "Our Daughters & Sons"). Read it. Contact the PFLAG where yer 'rents live and find out when they have meetings. And, with filial respect and no commentary (just like the 'rents did to you) send 'em yer own queer care package.
b. Your Edukaytin: Contact PFLAG in Raleigh. Go to one of their meetings. Ask the parents there for advice. Sure all of us in the menagerie can kibitz with you about how things went with our 'rents. But learning the perspective of other 'rentals would enable you to better approach yours.
4. Yer right about the effectiveness of militant performances of queerness. Recall Aesop's fable about "The Oak and the Reed." It is better to bend than break because of rigid pride. And just to say ... NEVER tell yer 'rents about yer interactive carnality. They know. But denial can be good. In my family, there are no birds and bees. I was delivered by a stork. My 'rents have NEVER had sex. Don't gross me out.
5. Yer idea about easing yer 'rents into acceptance is FANTASTIC! Sharing more of yer personal life with 'em is GOOD. Have you seen "Torch Song Triology"? Mama doesn't accept Son's alternative-ness. Yet in a heartwrenching observation about Son not sharing his personal life with her, Mama says he cut her out of his life and then blamed her for not being there when he needed her. Yer 'rents may have created the atmosphere of fear, but you've kept it going. Maybe it is time to break through the clouds and let the sun in. Ducks can fly, ya know. You, Duck, soar to the heights.
Kisses for Tortoise. (Do they turn you into a princess?)
Thanks for all your thoughts. #5 is what I've been thinking about most. It's definitely a catch-22 right now (seemingly). I know that the only way I can escape the pall of silence around my family is to start saying stuff. But it makes me queasy just thinking about it. I had to come out to my parents on the phone all the way across the country. My sister wrote my parents a letter to tell them about her boyfriend. It's all insanity.
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ninetydegrees
no subject
on 2002-07-01 11:36 pm (UTC)Bravo! I like the new(er) layout. Scapegoatee's little icon is adorable! What a good Goat he is! I can't get over an English-brain who has his "linky links" out of alphabetical order. You quack, Duck! Yer site's loverly!
So ...
A few (too many) thoughts on yer 'rental issue:
1. That was a wonderfully sweet letter yer parents wrote. Consider writing them a similar succinct letter to tell them you love them. And that they did a good job raising you. 'Cause they did, ya know.
2. Remember they're yer 'rents. You don't own 'em so you can't change 'em. You can rant till you've got laryngitis and rail against them till yer weary but only they can change themselves. HOWEVER, as you astutely noted "It's time to respond with some queer edukaytin'."
3. PFLAG is good place to start the edumakaytin'. Please visit their website at www.pflag.org.
a. The 'Rental Edukaytin: You may want to purchase some of their literature (especially "Our Daughters & Sons"). Read it. Contact the PFLAG where yer 'rents live and find out when they have meetings. And, with filial respect and no commentary (just like the 'rents did to you) send 'em yer own queer care package.
b. Your Edukaytin: Contact PFLAG in Raleigh. Go to one of their meetings. Ask the parents there for advice. Sure all of us in the menagerie can kibitz with you about how things went with our 'rents. But learning the perspective of other 'rentals would enable you to better approach yours.
no subject
on 2002-07-01 11:57 pm (UTC)5. Yer idea about easing yer 'rents into acceptance is FANTASTIC! Sharing more of yer personal life with 'em is GOOD. Have you seen "Torch Song Triology"? Mama doesn't accept Son's alternative-ness. Yet in a heartwrenching observation about Son not sharing his personal life with her, Mama says he cut her out of his life and then blamed her for not being there when he needed her. Yer 'rents may have created the atmosphere of fear, but you've kept it going. Maybe it is time to break through the clouds and let the sun in. Ducks can fly, ya know. You, Duck, soar to the heights.
Wish you all the best! --- Tortoise
mwah
on 2002-07-02 07:37 am (UTC)Thanks for all your thoughts. #5 is what I've been thinking about most. It's definitely a catch-22 right now (seemingly). I know that the only way I can escape the pall of silence around my family is to start saying stuff. But it makes me queasy just thinking about it. I had to come out to my parents on the phone all the way across the country. My sister wrote my parents a letter to tell them about her boyfriend. It's all insanity.
P
P.S. Alfabetizing is for wimps!