apologies to my students

So yesterday evening, I screened David Cronenberg's eXistenZ for my contemporary literature class. And. Um. Oops. I hadn't watched it again since it came out in 1999. I didn't remember (how could I not???) all the weird anal rape stuff and how the bioports on the spine look like assholes. And there's all the lubing of the bioports and sticking fingers in before connecting up the pod game system. And then there were the scenes shot like porn scenes of anal penetration (the way the bodies were positioned and the look of ecstasy/pain on Jennifer Jason Leigh's face).

I think I traumatized some students.

the weekend at my home away from home

So I'm still tired even though I went to sleep around 8:30 last night, got up late today, and took a late-morning nap. I think traveling makes me tired.

The conference at UIUC was pretty cool. I swear, though, aren't academics supposed to be, like, socially-inept nerds? So why do I always feel like the only person at these gatherings who doesn't know how to talk to people? I always feel bad for being the black hole of conversation at a dinner table. Like, the people around me are stuck being near me and can't talk to other people because I'm in the way. We always end up looking at other people who are having a raucous time laughing and talking.

I did get to meet tomface which was cool. And he introduced me to some of his friends, one of whom is a Yalie, too. I also got to talk to the co-organizer of the conference who is totally rad (we've been e-mailing and IMing a lot since they accepted my paper for the conference a few months back). And I caught up with a few other people I know from my previous trips to UIUC and the conference circuit.

I got to have a yummy Espresso Royale at Moonstruck Cafe, one of my favorite places there. And I even got grading done.

I hope the Asian American studies program is hosting another conference next year. I can't break my three-year streak of doing conferences there!